Segments.

I have been running around like crazy for the last few weeks. Someone in our house is turning one, and it's taking a toll on mommy. So to summarize, I've included segments of thoughts in this post so that I remember them. There are too many to write out completely, plus my mind has been thinking in segments lately, so we'll go with it.

Paighton sang "Jesus loves me" along with the CD today in the car. I about wrecked as I kept turning around to watch her and smile. She makes my heart melt.

I have the handsomest little boy on the planet. I swear to you, he's going to melt hearts later in life and I'm hoping he doesn't forget the one woman who's always been in his heart from the beginning. :)

We're having Gannon's party at Bass Pro Shops. It's a camo theme party. While we are not a "hunting" family, I decided it would work. Again, we're going with it.

Paighton is now all of the sudden afraid of the dark/having her door shut at night. Terrified. Alligator tears. I am not sure where this is coming from, but it's keeping her up at night and she has taken to waking up at 5:30 am each morning. Zzzzzzzzzzz, oh I'm sorry, sleep deprivation......hoping someone can tell me what to do here. I'm lost with this one.

Gannon is walking (5 or 6 steps at a time) and saying "mama" in the morning in his crib. Did I mention I can't breathe? Stop time. Just stop.

My job is going very well. The people are super nice and the company is great. They actually value their employees. WHAT? :)It's amazing, and I am grateful.

Speaking of grateful, it's been on my heart a lot. I had been losing my way there for a while and taking too much for granted. Getting too comfortable in the everyday life. It's funny that I actually realized it and am making an effort to get back to home base. "God, it's Sarah. I forgot, but now I'm back. So, thanks. Thanks so much for all I have. You are GOOD."

At this time last year I was getting ready to have a baby. Getting a room ready for a little man that would steal my heart. He has a laugh that could cheer up the entire world.

It's still amazing to me how much can change in just one year. A baby. A new job. A new normal. We're working on this life each and every day.

My parents will be here tomorrow. And my sister. And my Grandma. My sister refers to it as "the Crazy train". I'm ready to jump on board. That's just who we are. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Does anyone think we should go to Disney World and a 10 yr anniversary trip next year? I do. My husband, hmmm, he still needs some work. Tax returns need to go for something fun right?!!??!!

I love my babies. I love my husband. I love that God has given me rainbows after the rain. I love all my friends, who really are just more passengers on the crazy train.

And with that, I'm segmented out.
~S

**This post has been edited as I spelled a word wrong and knew my reader(s) would shun me if I didn't correct it. :)**

Girls night

Well, my night really. The kids are in bed and Daddy's at the neighbors house watching the hockey game. Therefore I have prepared for the night by raiding the nearest Redbox and bringing home "Twilight: Breaking Dawn" and "Friends with Benefits". I've got my pjs on and ice cream in hand. Who would have thought I would get this excited about chick flicks and ice cream! Well......yeah. You know what I mean.

Reasons why.....

I love my husband. There are the obvious reasons, he puts up with me and loves me unconditionally....yada yada yada. :)

But there are a few more reasons I find my husband so endearing, so here goes:

1. He has a HUGE soft spot in his heart for his little girl.
2. He is can fix/build anything in the house. He has finished the basement (more than once thanks to mother nature), built another bedroom for our growing family, built all kinds of shelves in the garage, etc, etc, etc. He's handy to have around.
3. He watches reruns of Home Improvement and MASH. (that old saying about marrying someone like your Dad. Yeah, there's some truth to that)
4. He is dedicated to keeping himself healthy. He's been through a lot and is very strict about staying healthy.
5. He gets me ice cream whenever I ask.
6. He loves to play tea party. See #1.
7. He let's Gannon play with his toys he had as a kid. Not sure which one has more fun with that.... :)
8. He is very book smart and teaches me LOTS of things. Even when I didn't know I wanted to learn them.
9. He cooks and cleans.

And finally.....

10. He is my very best friend.

~S

Two. Handsome. Men.

I have two men in my life. I know. I know. It's scandalous. But I can't resist. They are both adorable and I can't see my life without either of them. So I'm keeping them both. Go ahead. You try and pick just one.

Being a Mom

I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a mom. Thinking about how long it took to become a mom. How much I love being a mom. And while not every moment is pretty and shiny, I know that being a mom is what I was meant to do. It's what and who I am. I'm a lot of other things, but being a mom seems to be the one thing that comes very naturally to me.

I'm not a smart woman. I don't remember anything from school really and I'm not the most intelectual person in the world. I could tell you every pattern in the new Coach line, but book smarts is not my thing.

So, being a mom is what I feel was put on my heart and built into my soul. It's what I know. God put me on this earth to give love and to raise his children with integrity and a soft soul to live in his word. I feel it. I feel it so very deep down that I am to be a mom.

I also know that with these blessings comes a great responsibility. One in which I take very seriously. And it's got me thinking, what if I wasn't here to do that? What if I wasn't here to tell them how much I love them and how much I love being their mom? If there is one thing I have learned in my 32 years of life is that things are never guaranteed. Unfortunately life is what happens when you are making your own plans. It's just the way it is. I hope and pray God gives me a long life to raise these babies and watch them grow. But here's the point to this post, if I can't, I'm asking a favor to all of you. Here it is:

Never let my children forget how much I love them and loved being their mom. Ever.

They ask when baptising children if the church family will love the children and help to raise them in the Christian faith. Everytime. They want to make sure their Christian family will be there to help guide them in God's word. So while I know those aspects of their lives will be taken care of, I'm asking all of you to help my children understand how deep my love is for them. How I love coming home everyday to their smiles and hugs and kisses. How I love watching Paighton sit in her rocking chair and read. How I love listening to Gannon's deep belly laugh. Remind them that sitting at the dinner table with them was always an adventure. How Paighton doing the itsy bitsy spider on her own for the first time after I had sang it to her a million times brought me to tears I was so proud. How watching Gannon take his first steps filled my heart with so much joy. Remind them that Paighton would always want to say her prayers with me when I laid next to her in bed at night, and that Gannon would always crawl to me and want me to sit him in my lap and cuddle with him. Tell Paighton that I would always love hearing her say "mommy, mommy, mommy" over and over again. Tell Gannon that he was is so very handsome and I fell in love with him instantly when I saw his face. Tell them that I called Paighton "doodlebug or monkey" and Gannon "my buddy or handsome".

I want you to tell them that being thier mom for however long I am on this earth was the greatest blessing God could have EVER given me. For he knew what their lives would do for my soul. He knew they would complete me more than anything ever could. Being their mom filled every empty space in my soul that came from many years of struggles to get them here.

I'm going to live a long time. I know it. God and I have had a talk and I have things left to do here. But just in case he changes his mind, I'm asking you, my family and friends to remind them of these things. Because when I do leave this earth someday, I never want there to be a question of my love and devotion to these two beautiful babies. Ever. I need them to always have a piece of my love with them, even if it comes from others.

This post is not meant to be sad. It's purpose is a request. A favor. Plain and simple. I know you can do it.

But for now, I will continue to continue on this journey that God set out for us. And everyday we are all together be thankful for the joy they give to me and that I have been blessed enough to be their MOM.

August 5th, 2010

Yikes! 2010! Ahhhh, it's been a while. But I've got some thoughts and I need to get them down. So here I am. But that's for a new post.

But it's now 2012. So. Much. Has. Changed. :)

Stop the insanity....

So I have been so kindly reminded again (ahem) by a fabulous girl in Florida (who shall remain nameless, but has the cutest little girl on the planet) :) that I have been slacking on passing along good info to the maybe 3 people that read my blog. So here I am.

The last two weeks of my life have been an absolute whirlwind. It started with the car accident that left me with a BRIGHT blue Chevy HHR to drive around in. Awesome. I feel like I'm in a box. But, we're not paying for a thing, so that works for me. Abby is actually being fixed, and they hope to have her back to me by next Thursday. We'll see.

I am feeling better from the accident, however, Ryan's had a few run in's with the law (think speeding tickets, not jail) so he will be in court at the end of the month for that. Awesome again.

And then there was work. I don't even know where to start on that. I was the event manager for the Johnson County Republican party watch event for the primaries on Tuesday night. I had SO much fun working with the comittee and loved planning the event. What I did not love, was the immature people EVERYWHERE. For something that was so "adult" to me, I have never, ever seen so many childish people in my entire life. **disclaimer**-I am about to go on a rampage here, so be forewarned you may not like what I have to say. In fact, I'm going out on a limb here posting things I never have before, so bear with me. And if you don't like it, I am not sorry, but feel glad knowing that you are entitled you your opinion and I'm entitled to mine. :)** Most of the actual campaigns were run by college students who were so disrespectful of me, my staff and the hotel in general. I obviously won't name names (email me and I'll fill in the blanks), but they would try and put their campaign signs up throughout the entire lobby. Like large signs, like the size of billboards. Really? Really that's okay in a hotel that just spent $22 million dollars to renovate the entire place? It's really okay to DUCT TAPE signs to the walls in the hallways upstairs? And it's super okay at midnight to walk the halls shouting your candidates name? And is it really okay for a group of protesters to come on private property and call a candidate a homosexual while his wife is standing next to him?

Let me fill you in-none of that is okay. They were insanely rude to my staff and honestly, I left that night re-thinking my position as a Rebublican. Yes, I said it. I'm a Republican. It disgusted me to see these candidates and the people they had around them. They were all immature and it scared me that they could be in an office of our government. Making decisions that affect my family. No one seemed to care that I continue to work hard and pay taxes and not go into debt, yet anyone from south of the border can walk across and have access to the same or better health care than I do for FREE. Their kids can go to school and get assistance for lunch. I can't, I "make too much money". They don't have to pay taxes. Anybody? Anybody care about that? Anybody care that everyone wants to be treated equally, but when in reality, we're not all equal. We're all different. You know, you can live your life one way and I'll live mine, that's fine. But I'm tired of the government overturning laws that were passed by the people because one person thinks it's unconstitutional. Um, is it not a democracy? Don't we get the vote and the majority rules? It's not we the people, it's "we who think we're entitled to everything". Apparently we've moved onto socialism and whatever the government wants to do, they can. Again, not sorry for the rant, but seeing the immature, silly bickering that took place on Thursday put me in a FOUL mood. Depressed actually because I worry for my childs future. And my grandchildrens' future. I do have a heart by the way, I am a pretty compassionate person and am very grateful for what I have. I do want to see people thrive, but there is a line. And to me, that line has been crossed.

Okay, deep breath. I have lots more to say about lots of things, but that was the highlights. :) You may not like it, but that's where I left on Tuesday night at midnight. Sad, tired and depressed. So, we're trying to work out of that funk. I'm praying. HARD.

And on a final note, Ryan's grandmother passed away yesterday. Grammy was such a cute lady and I am blessed to have known her for the short time I did before she fell ill from a stroke a few years ago. Grammy lived by herself in a home that she had lived in for 50+ years until she was 92. When Ryan and I were dating (SO long ago), Ryan would take me with him to visit her. The first time we visited her, we pulled into the driveway and Ry said "now, when we go in, she's going to offer you a bowl of ice cream. Say no because I guarantee you that ice cream has been in there for a year!" :) Sure enough he introduced me to her and we sat in her front "sitting room" and she said "would you two kids like a bowl of ice cream?" :) I'll never forget giggling a little inside because she was so cute. Before we got married, she told us over and over again, "you two are such a good looking couple, are you going to get married?". :) She would tell us all kinds of stories about her life and living on the Plaza in KC. Life was hard then as well and trust me, she had her opinions about things too! She taught us a lot of things and was very good to Ryan and his sister. I pray that God was with her when she passed and know her soul is with the Lord and she will be watching down on miss P as they were never able to meet.

There's more. Oh is there more. Like did I mention Paighton's walking? And can you believe that.....buuuuut that's for another time and another post. We are headed to the lake tomorrow for the 3rd annual Hillbilly BBQ. Nope, not joking. :) Good luck honey! Paighton and I are proud of you no matter what happens! You are by far the best cook we know! :)

And to end on a good note, a picture of my favorite person, Miss P. I love her. More than she will ever know. And I can't believe that in less than one month, my princess will be one. I love you sweet girl and am so BLESSED to have you as my daughter!

Always~

S

P.S. I PROMISE that the next post will be MUCH happier. :)