Segments.

I have been running around like crazy for the last few weeks. Someone in our house is turning one, and it's taking a toll on mommy. So to summarize, I've included segments of thoughts in this post so that I remember them. There are too many to write out completely, plus my mind has been thinking in segments lately, so we'll go with it.

Paighton sang "Jesus loves me" along with the CD today in the car. I about wrecked as I kept turning around to watch her and smile. She makes my heart melt.

I have the handsomest little boy on the planet. I swear to you, he's going to melt hearts later in life and I'm hoping he doesn't forget the one woman who's always been in his heart from the beginning. :)

We're having Gannon's party at Bass Pro Shops. It's a camo theme party. While we are not a "hunting" family, I decided it would work. Again, we're going with it.

Paighton is now all of the sudden afraid of the dark/having her door shut at night. Terrified. Alligator tears. I am not sure where this is coming from, but it's keeping her up at night and she has taken to waking up at 5:30 am each morning. Zzzzzzzzzzz, oh I'm sorry, sleep deprivation......hoping someone can tell me what to do here. I'm lost with this one.

Gannon is walking (5 or 6 steps at a time) and saying "mama" in the morning in his crib. Did I mention I can't breathe? Stop time. Just stop.

My job is going very well. The people are super nice and the company is great. They actually value their employees. WHAT? :)It's amazing, and I am grateful.

Speaking of grateful, it's been on my heart a lot. I had been losing my way there for a while and taking too much for granted. Getting too comfortable in the everyday life. It's funny that I actually realized it and am making an effort to get back to home base. "God, it's Sarah. I forgot, but now I'm back. So, thanks. Thanks so much for all I have. You are GOOD."

At this time last year I was getting ready to have a baby. Getting a room ready for a little man that would steal my heart. He has a laugh that could cheer up the entire world.

It's still amazing to me how much can change in just one year. A baby. A new job. A new normal. We're working on this life each and every day.

My parents will be here tomorrow. And my sister. And my Grandma. My sister refers to it as "the Crazy train". I'm ready to jump on board. That's just who we are. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Does anyone think we should go to Disney World and a 10 yr anniversary trip next year? I do. My husband, hmmm, he still needs some work. Tax returns need to go for something fun right?!!??!!

I love my babies. I love my husband. I love that God has given me rainbows after the rain. I love all my friends, who really are just more passengers on the crazy train.

And with that, I'm segmented out.
~S

**This post has been edited as I spelled a word wrong and knew my reader(s) would shun me if I didn't correct it. :)**

Girls night

Well, my night really. The kids are in bed and Daddy's at the neighbors house watching the hockey game. Therefore I have prepared for the night by raiding the nearest Redbox and bringing home "Twilight: Breaking Dawn" and "Friends with Benefits". I've got my pjs on and ice cream in hand. Who would have thought I would get this excited about chick flicks and ice cream! Well......yeah. You know what I mean.

Reasons why.....

I love my husband. There are the obvious reasons, he puts up with me and loves me unconditionally....yada yada yada. :)

But there are a few more reasons I find my husband so endearing, so here goes:

1. He has a HUGE soft spot in his heart for his little girl.
2. He is can fix/build anything in the house. He has finished the basement (more than once thanks to mother nature), built another bedroom for our growing family, built all kinds of shelves in the garage, etc, etc, etc. He's handy to have around.
3. He watches reruns of Home Improvement and MASH. (that old saying about marrying someone like your Dad. Yeah, there's some truth to that)
4. He is dedicated to keeping himself healthy. He's been through a lot and is very strict about staying healthy.
5. He gets me ice cream whenever I ask.
6. He loves to play tea party. See #1.
7. He let's Gannon play with his toys he had as a kid. Not sure which one has more fun with that.... :)
8. He is very book smart and teaches me LOTS of things. Even when I didn't know I wanted to learn them.
9. He cooks and cleans.

And finally.....

10. He is my very best friend.

~S

Two. Handsome. Men.

I have two men in my life. I know. I know. It's scandalous. But I can't resist. They are both adorable and I can't see my life without either of them. So I'm keeping them both. Go ahead. You try and pick just one.

Being a Mom

I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a mom. Thinking about how long it took to become a mom. How much I love being a mom. And while not every moment is pretty and shiny, I know that being a mom is what I was meant to do. It's what and who I am. I'm a lot of other things, but being a mom seems to be the one thing that comes very naturally to me.

I'm not a smart woman. I don't remember anything from school really and I'm not the most intelectual person in the world. I could tell you every pattern in the new Coach line, but book smarts is not my thing.

So, being a mom is what I feel was put on my heart and built into my soul. It's what I know. God put me on this earth to give love and to raise his children with integrity and a soft soul to live in his word. I feel it. I feel it so very deep down that I am to be a mom.

I also know that with these blessings comes a great responsibility. One in which I take very seriously. And it's got me thinking, what if I wasn't here to do that? What if I wasn't here to tell them how much I love them and how much I love being their mom? If there is one thing I have learned in my 32 years of life is that things are never guaranteed. Unfortunately life is what happens when you are making your own plans. It's just the way it is. I hope and pray God gives me a long life to raise these babies and watch them grow. But here's the point to this post, if I can't, I'm asking a favor to all of you. Here it is:

Never let my children forget how much I love them and loved being their mom. Ever.

They ask when baptising children if the church family will love the children and help to raise them in the Christian faith. Everytime. They want to make sure their Christian family will be there to help guide them in God's word. So while I know those aspects of their lives will be taken care of, I'm asking all of you to help my children understand how deep my love is for them. How I love coming home everyday to their smiles and hugs and kisses. How I love watching Paighton sit in her rocking chair and read. How I love listening to Gannon's deep belly laugh. Remind them that sitting at the dinner table with them was always an adventure. How Paighton doing the itsy bitsy spider on her own for the first time after I had sang it to her a million times brought me to tears I was so proud. How watching Gannon take his first steps filled my heart with so much joy. Remind them that Paighton would always want to say her prayers with me when I laid next to her in bed at night, and that Gannon would always crawl to me and want me to sit him in my lap and cuddle with him. Tell Paighton that I would always love hearing her say "mommy, mommy, mommy" over and over again. Tell Gannon that he was is so very handsome and I fell in love with him instantly when I saw his face. Tell them that I called Paighton "doodlebug or monkey" and Gannon "my buddy or handsome".

I want you to tell them that being thier mom for however long I am on this earth was the greatest blessing God could have EVER given me. For he knew what their lives would do for my soul. He knew they would complete me more than anything ever could. Being their mom filled every empty space in my soul that came from many years of struggles to get them here.

I'm going to live a long time. I know it. God and I have had a talk and I have things left to do here. But just in case he changes his mind, I'm asking you, my family and friends to remind them of these things. Because when I do leave this earth someday, I never want there to be a question of my love and devotion to these two beautiful babies. Ever. I need them to always have a piece of my love with them, even if it comes from others.

This post is not meant to be sad. It's purpose is a request. A favor. Plain and simple. I know you can do it.

But for now, I will continue to continue on this journey that God set out for us. And everyday we are all together be thankful for the joy they give to me and that I have been blessed enough to be their MOM.

August 5th, 2010

Yikes! 2010! Ahhhh, it's been a while. But I've got some thoughts and I need to get them down. So here I am. But that's for a new post.

But it's now 2012. So. Much. Has. Changed. :)